Harvest Moon Scream 6: The last laugh
by WriterJ
Summary: The last laugh????


SCREAM 6- The last laugh!  
  
Written by: John  
Date: January 16-20 2002  
Overview: Who will get the last laugh, the killer, the people or someone else??  
RATED: PG-13  
  
---------SCREAM 6-----------  
  
Chef: Hey steve.  
Steve: What?  
Chef: You know what i dont get?  
Steve: What?  
Chef: Why do i have to be the druggy in every one of these stories?  
Steve: I dont know.  
Chef: I mean every single story ever written by this guy, I have to be the one smoking pot, weed, crack, dope whatever the fuck you want to call them.  
Steve: Well, maybe because you are a drug addict.  
Chef: Actually you are probably right.  
Chef: Smoke some J with me?  
Steve: Hellllll yeaaahh.  
  
----------SCREAM 6---------  
  
Bill and Will, the even newer police officers walk the streets, making a security run.  
  
Bill: You smell that?  
Will: Smell what?  
Bill: That dont you smell it?  
Will: Oh yeah.  
Bill: Thats weed.  
Will: Ohhh shit.  
Bill: You know what?  
Will: We gotta get some of dat shit right now.  
Bill: Good plan.  
Will: where is it comming from?  
Bill: That way.  
Will: The sprites house?  
Bill: Yeah.  
Will: Thats right the mayor warned us about that guy....well let's go.  
(they go into the house)  
  
------------SCREAM 6----------  
THE NEXT NIGHT:  
  
Chef: Well i see you fella's later.  
Will: yes.  
Bill: Tomorrow morning!  
Chef: Sure thing.  
Chef: Steve why dont you go to bed, the mature movies are always on at night.  
Steve: You saying i cant handle it?  
Chef: Yeah pussy.  
Steve: Your probably right.  
Steve: Good night.  
Chef: You too....and trust me you will have a good night....  
(Steve walks off)  
(The phone rings)  
Chef: Yo.  
Killer: What's your favorite scary movie?  
Chef: The one im watching right now.  
Killer: What's it called?  
Chef: I dont know, but the part that scares me is this ass ugly actress man.  
Killer: Really?  
Chef: Yeah.  
Killer: Dont worry, you wont have to see her for long.  
Chef: Good, i cant take much more of this movie.  
(The killers arm reaches through the window and Chef is sitting close enough to the window so the killer can stab him and the back, then he runs into the woods)  
Steve: What the fuck was that noise?  
Steve: Oh it's you chef?  
Steve: Dont tell me your high again?  
Steve: This is the 6th time today!  
Steve: Get up off that floor!  
Steve: Yo get up!  
Steve: Chef?   
Steve: HELP! (Calls Elli and she comes in a little while later)  
Elli: What happened?  
Steve: He was just sitting like this!  
Elli: Really?  
Elli: Did you see anything?  
Steve: No, but look at my window! I paid good money for that!  
Elli: (Stops and looks)  
Elli: Oh my god!  
Steve: What is it?  
Elli: He's back!  
Steve: Look Chef's moving!  
  
Elli: Chef?  
Chef: Yo dawgs getting buck wild in the ville son.  
[ someone stabbed me]  
Elli: Excuse me! Does anyone here speak ghetto?  
Pastor: Yes, i speak ghetto.  
Pastor: Whats up my brother?  
[ what's wrong? ]  
Chef: someone gone down crazy son  
[ Someone tried to kill me ]  
Chef: Some crazy shit bro.  
[ it'crazy]  
Pastor: We get the homies to knock you uptown k son?  
[ someone will help you out]  
Chef: Damn straight  
[ good ]  
(Elli takes chef to the hospital)  
  
---------SCREAM 6---------  
Elli and the mayor look at chef in the clinic.  
  
Elli: Mayor it's true!  
Mayor: It could be just a coincidence, just about everything has happened in this town.  
Elli: But the killer is back!  
Mayor: Yeah? Then who is it?  
Elli: Well it cant be Popuri, she was caught in the last story.  
Chef: (miraculously gets up)  
Chef: No fuckin way!  
Mayor: What?  
Chef: You gave away the answer to the last story that's what.  
Elli: So?  
Chef: Now you ruined the suprise!  
Elli: Well, it was obvious.  
Chef: whatever lets just keep going with the story.  
  
----------SCREAM 6----------  
  
Chef: Hey you!  
Writer: What?  
Chef: Thats lame how you give the answer away in the next story.  
Writer: So?  
Chef: It's lame, what if someone read this one before they read the 5th?  
Writer: Well, wouldnt you go in order?  
Chef: Maybe not.  
Writer: would you stop criticising me?  
Chef: Im sick of this!  
Writer: I gave you the lead role in my other story?  
Chef: Oh you mean the one where i play a retard trying to take over Flowerbud village?  
Writer: Well, it's better than nothing.  
Chef: And why am i always the stoner?  
Writer: Because i made it that way.  
Chef: This is bull!!  
Writer: I left you alive for 4 and 1/2 scream stories too!  
Chef: Whoa, why is there a half there not 5----  
(Chef gets stabbed and the killer runs off)  
Chef: Ohhh shit.....  
  
-----------SCREAM 6-----------  
  
Police station:  
  
Bill: Who is the killer?  
Will: We've only been here for 3 days, how should i know?  
Bill: Well you usually know these things.  
Will: Wll i dont okay?  
Bill: Let's investigate.  
Will: But first....a drink.  
Bill: Sounds like a plan.  
  
-----------SCREAM 6-----------  
  
At the church on the day of Chef's funeral.  
  
Pastor: Well i would like to say a few words.  
Pastor: First Chef had the best shit in town.  
Pastor: He was a friend, and a stoner.  
Pastor: He was also....an asshole and an ignorant son of a bitch. I hope he goes to hell. Okay everyone out.  
Basil: Nice description of him....  
Karen: Yeah (laughs)  
Pastor: I would also like to say a few words about this story. Why in gods name would you kill a character thats been in almost all the scream stories in the last one?  
Writer: Thats my decision bitch.  
(Killer swoops down from the wall and stabs the pastor. Everyone runs around in fear and leave)  
  
(the police run in)  
Bill: The pastor died durning a funeral?  
Will: How odd!  
Bill: Who is going to do his funeral then?  
(they both laugh and walk out)  
  
~~~~~~SCREAM 6~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Elli: Mayor?  
Mayor: What?  
Elli: If everyone died right now, then wouldnt this be a short story?  
Mayor: Well, there arent that many good horror movies to make fun of these days.  
(A vampire comes in and kills the mayor)  
Elli: Well i better go now.  
Elli: (walks out of the mayor;s house and screams)  
Elli: PARTY AT MY HOUSE TONIGHT!!!!!  
(Everyone yells and runs to Elli's house)  
  
-------------SCREAM 6-------------  
AT THE PARTY:  
  
(Everyone talks and drinks)  
Elli: I dont think there is even a killer here.  
Bill: What makes you think that?  
(The killer runs in with a knife)  
Karen: Ohhh shit!  
Basil: RUN!!!  
(They all run into an empty room, cornered)  
  
Basil: Who are you!  
Killer: You dont know yet?  
Killer: Let's recap all the killers in previous stories first hehehe.......  
  
WWWWWWWAAAAAARRRRNNNNIIIIIINNNNGGG  
WWWWAAAAARRRRRRNNNNNNNIIIIIINNNGGG  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ALERT ALERT~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
PRECEED WITH CAUTION!!!!! I REPEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!  
---------THIS IS A SPOILER ALERT--------------  
This message brought to you by: The writer.  
  
Killer: Scream 3.....bunch of dufuses who didnt know how to really kill! Scream 4..........town officials.....couldnt kill worth shit either. Scream 5.......a love greiven Popuri......couldnt kill at all either. It's hard having them be the next killers, when i did such a good job before them. I was the origional killer! Scream....Scream 2....It was me.....THE FIRST MAYOR OF THE SCREAM STORIES!!!!! I was locked up for life. I got out! Harris tried to do it also but he wasnt successful. But i wont fail!   
Killer: Who have i already killed in the past? Well....Jack.....The "new" mayor.....The pastor........Chef....well i didnt really kill him that was the writer but.......and last but not least.....Aqua.......The first person to die from Scream 2 on....was Aqua.....mwahahahahahaha mahahahahahahaaha mwahahahahahaha you are all doomed.  
Basil: This reminds me of those other horror movies where the killer keeps comming back.  
Karen: yeah what the fuck is up with that?  
Basil: And the batman movies where the bad guy is in the next movie.  
Karen: Dont you want to kill those mother fuckers?  
Killer: Well there is one difference....this isnt a movie! This is literarue!!! (Insert scary movie)  
Chef: DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
(HE swings from a rope onto the killer and beats him to death)  
Chef: That for all those sick killers who killed Aqua...and Timid....damn them!!!  
Basil: Sorry to ruin the triumphant moment. But arent you dead?  
Chef: No the writer brought me back.  
Elli: You saved us!  
Chef: Remember kids in books.....anything is possible.  
(They all walk out and chef stays behind)  
Chef: Heheh who got the last laugh.....Bitch.  
  
----------------SCREAM 6------------  
  
Chef: And also remember kids, dont try those stunts at home....and stay away from drugs...their bad for you.  
  
THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE READ THE HM SCREAM STORIES!  
  
-Scream  
-Scream 2  
-Scream 3  
-Scream 4  
-Scream 5  
-Scream Plus  
-Scream 6  
  
THE END! REMEMBER, WHEN THE PHONE RINGS, ITS NOT JUST A TELEMARKETER!!  
  
Written by: John  
Finished: January 20th 2002  
  
IN MEMORY TO ALL THOSE WHO DIED:  
Karen(1)  
Jack(2)  
Aqua(2)  
  
Fuck it, wouldnt it just be easier to list who DIDNT DIE?! 


End file.
